Monday, 3 October 2011

Relationship Anger.

Myself and Grant briefly broke up for about 3 days last week. Although I was gutted and very upset, the previous month we'd been together had been rubbish, and we'd stopped talking and making any effort with one another. So in a way, it was nice when we ended, because suddenly it was as though a weight was lift from my shoulders and we could be friendly again.
- Which, to cut a long story short, resulted in him realising how much he loved/missed me, and we got back together.

I think of us at the moment, as on a "trial period." In the sense that, I don't feel completely comfortable with the idea of discussing things we can do in 6 months time, such as book holidays together. We agreed to try our hardest to make things better, and make the other happier, and change our relationship for the better.

I am trying, at one stage we saw one another every day, so it was hard when he began suddenly not wanting to see me for a week at a time, so one thing i'm doing is chilling, and trying to not want to see him as much. Which is actually going remarkably well, as honestly I don't feel the "urge" to see him, I just sort of, fancy it if i'm bored.

A huge issue we had in my eyes was our absolute lack of any sort of activity. (Um, not sexually, as in, leaving the house... lol.) All we did is lay about watching films. It was so rare we went to the cinema, or went out for dinner, or even went shopping. It bored me that he felt that just chilling out together was gratifying enough to create a "good relationship." So therefore, as we are a "new us" i'd expect this to be something we worked on. Cool.

Grant has this thing, where he keeps his ex girlfriends as friends. Which is quite infuriating to be honest. Many of my friends have said they wouldn't like it, a girl at work I spoke to today said she couldn't be with a guy that couldn't let go of his ex's, but i've learnt to live with it. But you'd have thought he'd maybe lay off a bit during a "trial period" in order to make me happy. But of corse, he's not.

It's pissing me off, as i'm trying to make things good, and making an conscious effort to be nice and loving, and whatnot, and yet he won't budge. We'd said we'd go for a weekend in London and stay in a hotel prior to the brief break up, but of course now he's all "I'll go up to London for the day, but i'm not staying in a hotel for the night" I ask why "I just don't want to." WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO!? We have the money, we've booked a weekend off work, why go out for the day, only to come home at night? Where is your sense of adventure, man?!

In short, this can't end well. Those feelings and doubts I had before are creeping back towards me. I thought things would be different, but evidently they're going to stay the same.

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